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Friday, 24 January 2014

Trust? Yeah I trust you -__-

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"Believe what he says and ACT like you believe him. Keep casting every doubt aside and affirming him when you think he deserves it or not. TRUST is very important. Don't just say it, act like you do". 

I have a file on my phone where I document a number of pointers I have learnt and still learning when it comes to the way I hope to relate with the man I get married to.

There's usually a reason or background behind each statement - It's usually culled from a bad mistake, an action that got a great response, a book I read, something I listened to or watched or one of those deep conversations with my wonderful circle of friends! It could even be a poster while riding somewhere or an impression on my heart somehow....

As I wrote in a previous post HERE, I used to have serious issues with trust! As in I could win the award for Miss Paranoia! I ask questions about his past to 'help' us be open and then some of the information torments me and I make it almost not worth it! As in.. Can somebody say *Serious Issues!*.. Well thank God for grace and deliverance lol.

I wrote the above in my document, inspired by what my mummy told me during one of my paranoia experiences in my previous relationship. I was dating a guy who was quite popular and like bees to honey seemed to attract a number of ladies. However, he tried as much as possible to assure me of his faithfulness and commitment (trust me, I could have been with Mr Totally uncool and still be on guard, FBI ain't got nothing on me!).. But noooo, not for me.. One minute I'm like "Yes, I believe you and the next I'm investigating body language, likes on pictures, history with person A and person B and generally acting so bad that I was depriving myself the privilege of just enjoying being with him and worse still hurting someone I really cared about.

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I didn't know this even existed!

TRUST is an essential part of being in any kind of relationship. Trust is not just words, it's best put into action. You cannot claim to trust someone and your actions say the exact opposite.. Infact it's best you act it rather than say those words at all "I Trust You".

If you don't trust someone, you have no business being in a relationship with them, therefore if you choose to go into a relationship with them, you indirectly make up your mind to love and trust implicitly.

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One thing I also realised was that my inability to trust was somewhat founded on selfishness - I wanted to be CERTAIN that no one was taking me for a fool, nah ah! I wanted to ensure that I, ME was getting the best deal. I wanted to make sure that I, ME wasn't being taken for granted, I wanted to protect MY self... Forgetting that when you commit to a relationship, it stops being about only you... Love is a sacrifice of self and desires and good compromise on many levels.

TRUST is also a factor that is indispensable in our relationship with God.. We mar a good relationship with the King of Kings when we doubt his word or the assurance of His promise.. Sometimes we say it, we sing it, we confess it "I Trust You" but our actions negate our profession..

If it hurts us as human beings when our nearest and dearest don't trust us, it must hurt God whenever we act in unbelief and in doubt.. It's like "But I parted the red sea!" "But I raised Lazarus from the dead" "But I made Esther Queen!" "But I gave Hannah Samuel!" - What could be so difficult, why don't you trust me... And act like you do..

When we act in trust, it's called faith-in-action. Remember without it, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6)

PS I read a great article on Eloxie's blog 'Worry Not' .. You should read it too :-) xx

11 comments:

Debby Dyk said...

I feel this post eh!
Infact, mine is fear of the unknown, which makes me not to venture into the relationship in the first place.
Well, thank God he keeps helping us.

Sykik said...

"it must hurt God whenever we act in unbelief and in doubt" ....it helps when we see challenges as an examination....we need to get the pass mark to move to the next class.

Highly Favored said...

There is a quote that says "Love like you've never been hurt"

I think our fear of trust often surfaces from some past experience of hurt. We owe it to ourselves and the other person to love without suspicion. Unless otherwise there are glaring reasons to distrust.

@ilola said...

Well, thank God you aren't like that any more. Paranoia is not peaceful at all.

naijawife said...

Hmm. That part about lack of trust being a reflection of selfishness. That is so true

Toinlicious said...

I thought i had trust issues but i apparently don't hold a candle to what you used to be. Trust is tres important though

1 + The One said...

@Debby, Thank God oh! You should certainly 'step out in faith', that's the only you get to walk on water :-) xx
@Sykik, Amen, we do! We need to truly believe that ALL things work together for the good of those who love are called and are called according to His purpose.. xx
@HF, You are very right, my definitely stemmed from a past hurt
@ilola.. a HUGE Thank God! It is seriously a terrible thing!
@naijawife, It is.. It's usually a negative self-preservation technique.. There's no love in dis-trust! That's why the bible says there's no fear in love, rather perfect love casts out fear.
@Toinlicious, lol.. My candle has burnt out! By God's grace, I am now living in trust! xx

Missy Tee's said...

Trust is imperative in life. And it is true that sometimes not trusting people is kinda selfish. And Pista......what? These psychologists or whoever and their words.

1 + The One said...

As in Missy Tee! I was like there's such a word?!! haha xx

Marriage bythebook said...

Kindred spirits...
My latest blog post is on same.

No trust, no nothing Simple..
http://marriagebydbook.com/2014/01/29/this-trust-thing/

Loved this darling

1 + The One said...

Thanks my dearest Mrs D! xx