She’s my aunty but the age difference between us is not that great so we get along very well; we are really close and I find it easy to discuss almost everything with her. Anyways, I was dying to tease and know what had gone on. If you know me, you would know that I am interested in anything and everything pertaining to married life and since I haven’t had the good fortune of walking down the aisle yet, I am always quick to harass my friends + family who have taken the plunge before me.
At one point during our conversation, (I’ll spare you the full details), she said to me “One, do you know that hubby and I did not as little as kiss before we got married?”.. I kept quiet and looked at her with such huge admiration.
Let me explain to you why my admiration for her went up by 1000%.. You see, having a godly relationship/courtship in today’s world as a Christian is not the easiest things and I am sure you will agree with me. There are so many things that have come to be deemed as acceptable even when they clearly compromise the word of God. For me, it is increasingly difficult to draw the line to what is acceptable and not acceptable by God’s standard. Key word being God’s standard and not society or media or peer’s standard.
The challenge is not only due to external forces but also internal as well. When you love someone, the physical attraction is c-r-a-z-y and it takes only the grace of God and strong discipline to stop one from doing what you don’t want to. I remember a few years ago, before I got into my last relationship, I desperately wanted it to be as godly as possible. I had made up my mind that there would be not even as ‘much’ as kissing not to mention ‘quaving’/’petting’/’snogging’ etc.. Alas, when the time came and emotions overtook good sense, it was difficult not to hold, kiss + others. It proved to me that sometimes you may have good intentions but when it comes to the crux of the matter, and emotions and ‘right atmosphere’ come into play, good intentions + rationale fly out the window with the promise to come back another day (this promise often does not happen!). I know how difficult it is and I understand how many Christians are struggling with how to be in a loving relationship/courtship that still obeys God’s word and glorifies Him hence why my admiration for my aunt stemmed out of the fact that I thought she was a trooper for being able to ‘hold herself’!!
Anyways, again I have made up my mind (this time with as much pre-prayers as much as possible) that when The One does come, I want it to be absolutely and totally God’s way!! I desire for it to be as ‘Old School’ as possible! You see, in the past, Christian relationships involved no physical relationship whatsoever. I know this may sound archaic and out-dated, nevertheless personally I have discovered that one kiss is never sufficient especially when you are in love with someone. It always starts innocently but there’s always a possibility for things to go a lot further. So I had rather prefer to ‘flee all appearances’. In addition, I believe that time and ways change every day but God’s standards remain the same.
I want my relationship and courtship period to be a lot about getting to know THE PERSON as opposed to the body. I want to fall in love with his mind and love the way his words caresses my mind & soul and not his hands my body. I want to share with him what I read about and learnt from the bible for that day and I want us to pray over the phone together before we go to bed. I want to see clearly the way he treats his family and friends and those around him to be able to understand the way he would treat me and our children. I want to laugh and joke with him and have things in common with him separate but in addition to my physical attraction to him…..
I know that these things do not come by mere wishful thinking but in addition to praying for the grace of God to carry me through, I understand that I have to take practical steps as well. I know that there are many situations and things I would have to deprive myself during this short period in order to achieve this. I know that he has to be in agreement as well with me so that we can help each other in our time of inevitable weakness. I know that there will be times when I would just want to throw it all in and kiss his oh so attractive lips that be calling out to me “One, One, just one gentle kiss”… (*sigh* God help me!) or when my body will be all hot and bothered for him but I choose to WAIT.
I will wait because I know that it is but a matter of time and then he will be ALL mine, I will wait because no matter how long our relationship is, our marriage will be much more longer by God’s grace. And I will wait most importantly because I know it will bring glory to my Father in heaven who is the ultimate THE ONE, THE ONE.. I am that I am.
And when the time of waiting is over, when the Pastor says to him “You may now kiss your bride”.. OH MY GOODNESS!! If people are not careful, we may not attend our own reception! In fact, after all the waiting, I will be hoping that all things being equal, children will come only after about 2 years of KNOWING my HUSBAND! *wink wink* xx
