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Friday, 25 July 2014

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

Look at that, Friday is almost over and I haven't 'checked in' yet. 

Forgive me ma Cherie Papa!

I love You Lord. Thank You for being my God. You deserve my best - my best praise, my best worship, my best prayers, my best time. 

Thank You for understanding my every joy, every pain, every delight, every hurt, every jubilation. Thank You for being my best friend who never leaves nor forsakes me; through it all Daddy, You remain steadfastly faithful. 

Thank You for giving me the grace to dream - Daddy You know this your lil girl is quite the dreamer - Joseph ain't got nothing on me! Lol. Thank You for making the dreams even more pleasurable, because I know that You translate them to amazing reality and more than that, You always surpass my wildest imagination!! Almighty Father, You're just TOO MUCH!

Thank You for giving me fellow dreamers as family and friends! It's exciting sharing our dreams, believing together, encouraging one another and celebrating with one another when those dreams come through. Thank You for loving us all so equally, yet uniquely. You are the Love-Master! The Owner, Founder, Creator of Love.... You have the copyright on love, you define love, in fact, YOU are love!

Lover of my Soul, be glorified, be exalted in all of heaven and on earth!

I love You my no 1. 

Always and always,
One xx

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Convos With One: Qualities that attract in the Opposite Sex!

Hiya everyone! Hope you've had a great week! The weekend is in sight - Yayy! lol.

Convo with One is a new chat-series on the blog where each week, my wonderful friends and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective..

That's not us.. Or is it?! :-D
Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at last week's conversation where we discussed Help! My Man's BFF is a 'She' and the previous one on Men and Communication! It's been really engaging and I say a huge thanks to you all for joining in!

Today's topic of discussion is one that elicited a lot of comments (full of laughs) from the amazing 1 + The One panel!  -

"What do you look out for in the other person when it has to do with relationships? What are the qualities that attract you and are important to you in a man/woman?"

As Christians we all believe that the foundation is for the person to have a solid relationship with God, because it definitely goes a long way in determining how they relate with you.
So, in addition to the God-factor, what are the other qualities that matter to you?
I am really glad that we had very frank and very practical responses (oh it was such a laugh too!). As always, we throw the question open to you and we invite you to please share your thoughts and views in the comment section below!

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Ms Hope: I have always been drawn to smart, intelligent 'A' grade men. Beyond looks, posh-ness and carriage (all these are good as well) ‎I have discovered being exceptionally smart is one quality I never will discriminate on.

Ms PumpkinUnited: When I was a girl, my catchment areas in a guy were the usual stereotype -tall, dark and handsome, 'bad boy' prince charming that would sweep me off my feet, but when I grew into a young lady, I added diction, romantic, good smell, good dress sense and generosity. these have all come into play in my past relationships and have come short in one way or the other and disappointed woefully ..

Nubian Princess: I saw the "when I was a girl" part first and thought, is there something I don't know? Are you now a man? Hehehehe! Nothing but love pumpkin!

Boy/Girl... Boy? Girl? lol
Okay, what do I want in a man? A quality that I really look for in a man is MATURITY! I used to tell One that my husband must be at least 5 years older, and she thought I was crazy! Loool! But seriously though, I need for my SO to be very, very, very mature! In practical terms, someone who has developed an attitude of integrity, who is responsible, who can make sacrifices for our family, who is humble, who can maintain an attitude of gratitude - doesn't have a self-entitlement attitude, who can prioritise his time to put me first, who is teachable, who seeks wisdom before making decisions and so on. 

NubianPrincess: Ooooh... And then it won't hurt if he's over 6 feet tall, has really muscular forearms, with chiseled movie star cheekbones, a smile that can stop my heart from beating, eyes that have a way of seeing all the things I'm not saying, a great job, a sense of purpose, is emotionally honest.... *swoon* *fanning self frantically* *going to drink a glass of cold juice*

Ms Angel: Lolll, In my opinion, I think It's funny that when you meet a guy, all your preferred qualities or stereotypes that you've written down on a piece of paper somewhere for God to bear in mind when 'the time is right' all end up flying out the window when you realise 'Mr Right' comes.
The heart of the guy matters. Bibli-cally it is what stores his innermost treasures and determines who He is. Matthew 15:18 talks about how the words we speak affect us more than what we eat. So a man that can speak the Word is very important to me.
The face matters too... but I feel he can't be ridiculously fine because he will probably outshine me lol (that may have been a joke lol).

One: LOL @ not ridiculously fine so he doesn't outshine you..
One of my Aunt's used to say that she didn't want to marry a man that was too handsome (is there anything like that??) because the problem of managing all the attention would be too much.. I used to look at her like huh?! Give me a (very) good-looking man please, the Lord will give me grace when we come to that bridge haha..

Mr JohnNash: The ladies are about to dominate this topic. So I will save the guys...:-)

What do I look for in a woman? I was told a couple of weeks by one of my ex girl friends: Nash, you like fine girls. Look at A, B, C, D you dated in the past. Is it a coincidence they are all pretty?

I also did a reality check and realised almost all the girls I have dated are unimaginably brilliant! It's strange. It's like I have an affinity for smart girls.

However it's a lot more than beauty and brains.

I think a woman with no ELEMENT of violence will be great for me. A woman who is a worshipper will also do, the one who can pray me to destiny. Finally a woman who can engage me intellectually won't be bad at ALL.

One: And Mr JohnNash saves the men! lol.. So, what do you mean by no element of violence? Ahn ahn women are the softer vessels now.. In my mind, I am imagining the woman with a hidden machete for anytime you misbehave.. or someone whose hands are customised for rapid slaps.. Pray tell, expand JohnNash!

                       

Mr JohnNash: One! You are a joker! So I know a guy who has bought like 10 TVs in the last few years. He has a girl friend with a very bad temper. Any little misunderstanding she throws the TV down from the balcony. I consider that really funny. She's quite vicious and aggressive. I am afraid of girls like that. I can't handle it.
Obinrin oniwa tutu oloro tutu.
For those of us who don't speak Yoruba the above means a gentle woman with soft words...

Nubian Princess: Ahnnnn.... She throws the TV down ke??? Your friend is patient oooh... Why can't they fight in her house??!! Must it always be his house? Na wa oooh!!! A bit of 'Un-Christian' advice... Next time, he should go and visit her then pick a fight... Break her TV, flower vases, sound system, windows, bed sef.... Loooool!

Okay... Okay... I kid... At least I think I do...

Mr JohnNash: NubianPrincess, I never knew you were a comedian. Trust me it's wise for them to have the argument in his house. Else he would have to replace the TV, flower vases etc with more expensive ones. Lol

Ms PYT: Hello all! The first time I met my hubby, I went back home thinking what an intelligent, funny, smart and above all good looking guy with 'swags' (lol)

I wasn't looking for a God fearing, holy or 'spirikoko' guy because I wasn't even a Christian then. I just wanted someone who was sincere all round.‎ He was a perfect gentleman for me so the God/ religious factor started when we got married.

Ms MIA: Hello everyone! My 2cents.. I've got to be honest (my mother says that your eye must first accept the food before your mouth) so my interest is first drawn to a tall, nicely built, cute face young man, then his 'hello' will be singing melodies to my ears in the way he speaks it! I guess in simple words, I like a guy who is 'Foine' and speaks well and meaningfully....smart guy! Past the 'hello' though, he becomes a keeper if he can meet 2 main things:
- He loves God with the heart of a child. You know that sincere heart that keeps running back like David
- He demonstrates leadership. I cannot follow the one that doesn't know his bearing or cannot lead me anywhere!

Ms Hope: ‎I love a man who can lead whilst I follow, but I don't want the one who is so set in his ways that I can't influence his decisions.

Ms TrueTalk: Hmmm, I am drawn to intelligent/ witty men- men who kind of 'know' your thoughts even before you voice them. I am not much ‎of a talker, so I am comfortable with men who get the 'message' with very few words spoken.
I was even more drawn to my hubby because I found a friend, confidante and companion in him. He was someone I could tell everything and anything 'no holds barred'. Beyond the friendship, other qualities such as his kindness, generosity, love of/ for family and of course good looks cinched the deal, if you know what I mean.....

One: I know what you mean sisteh!

MsPumpkinUnited: I remember giving my fiance an excuse when he first asked me out that I couldn't date him cause he is my bestie.. and he was like, "So who better to marry if not your bestie? Abi would you rather marry your enemy or a stranger?" That got me thinking hard.



One: Lol.. Your bestie/fiance is a very wise man!

Mr Ogbomosho: Yes o my people yelzy. This question is tricky sha! There are two deep questions summed into one chat, I will try ooo. Her physical appearance is important to me at first, she doesn't have to be a superstar but I want to be able to show her off to my friends.
Wot do I mean by that?
I must like what I see!!!
What do I like to see?!!!
Hmmmmmm
No overload!! I want to be able to see her and restrain from turning to see her again but my head turns itself!!!!



In simple terms there has to be attraction, what I feel attracted to is different from other people.

I have a scripture to back this up if you want, ask me :-)

Ms Angel: Soooo....H'i h'am h'askin *full teeth grin* Scripture pleaks sir. I don't disagree with you, just curious.

Let's noth forgeth...She must smell good too!!! The anointing must be 'perceivable'.
(Ruth 3:3).teehee.

Mr Ogbomosho: One of my favourite scriptures in the bible SOS 1:2
Gbam!!!!!! I can decode if u want but......... I don't want

One: Gbam! I think I am going to frame that scripture! I Love it! Lol

.... And on that note, we wrap up this week's convo.. But not before we ask you, what are the qualities that attract you to consider a relationship with someone? (Hope that makes sense? lol)

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Join us again next week for more Convos with One! If you would like to ask a question please send your email to oneplustheone@gmail.com xx

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Dare to Dream?

                        

Have you ever had a dream so big that you thought you shouldn't even be dreaming about it because it possibly couldn't happen to you?

Have you had a blessing so wonderful that you were looking out for the 'catch' because it seemed too good to be true?

The truth is that every single human being has a dream, a desire; and usually we become afraid to continue that thought process because we fear the disappointment of it not coming to pass. Unfortunately sometimes, the fear ends the dream even before it takes flight.

"No, it possibly couldn't work, why bother". 

"That life is not for me, I wonder how other people get so lucky!"

"What if it doesn't work?!"

... And many times we lose out on a great opportunity, a great life because we don't believe enough that dreams and desires do come through.

Whenever we dream small or don't dare to dream big, I dare say that we diminish the power of God and the integrity of His word.

"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for me?" - Jer 32:27

Perhaps, the greatness of our dreams is proportional to how much faith and trust we place in God and His word.

You can have that great career, you can have that phenomenal business, you can have that beautiful relationship, you can have that wonderful marriage, you can have a happy and fulfilled life, the things that happened to that loved one would not happen to you too.... Your story can be great and your end glorious. That dream can come to pass.

"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth" - 3John 2

Don't limit the power of God, don't limit the greatness He has invested in you.

"Ask of me and I will make the nations your inheritance and the ends of the earth your possession" - Psalm 2:8

Great things don't just happen to other people, great things can happen to you too.

So, here's a call to you, don't be afraid to dream. It's time to stop limiting God and start taking Him up on His word, afterall, He said it -

"God is not a man that He should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it?or hath he spoken and shall he not make it good?" - Numbers 23:19

Dream that dream, take the next step by asking God in prayers to bring it to pass, work diligently to pursue it, ignore the setbacks, dream again and work even harder. When you begin to see the dreams in real life, don't be afraid to embrace it with joy and thanks to your God because being great is not extraordinary for Him, that's His signature.

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us" - Ephesians 3:20

Remember - "Exceedingly abundantly above ALL that we ask or think" - God will surpass your dreams and expectations.... But don't forget to dream and imagine that it is indeed possible by God's grace.

PS I read this fantastic post by a blogger (Ms Akut) whose amazing ability to bring life to every day simple activities is a gift indeed. I pray that the post inspires your faith to expect the best from the very best God. Click HERE to read.

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  New here? You're most welcome! I love you already :-)
Please follow on Twitter @1plustheone, on Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone and if you want to, please send me an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com - It's always lovely to hear from you :-) xx



Monday, 21 July 2014

Get UGLY!

I have come to discover that 'blog-ville' as the blog community is fondly referred to, is a treasure-chest full of amazing people and personalities. I have met such wonderful people that have become lovely friends despite the fact that we have never met.

I have been blessed by the immense talent and gifts that people share each day through the avenue of prose, poetry and (a lot of!) drama lol via various blogs that I could spend a stretch of time discovering and exploring..


One of such blogs is Adaeze Obiako's 'Deserve Your Great Life'. The moment you are welcomed into her cyber-world, you just have that feeling of great hospitality. I have never met Adaeze but I can almost bet that she is very sweet and the kind of person that looks out for the good in everyone. 

She writes with such simplicity, depth, sincerity and passion that you feel drawn in.

You can imagine my pleasure and delight when she sent a message announcing the release of her first E-book titled 'Get U.G.L.Y'. Of course, the title itself was enough to pique my interest! lol.

The cover is simply designed but very catchy and I loved the sub-topic "How to become Unconditionally Grateful Looking like You" U.G.L.Y - gerrit?! hehe


I am a ravenous reader, particularly when it's a good read and this was no different - I consumed the book in one read, lol. The fact that it's also not very lengthy (only 34 pages) made it a very easy and pleasant read - So even if you're not the 'reading type', you can quite easily get into it!

Now, the book itself starts from a personal point where Adaeze in her usual 'real' style of writing talks about her experience of getting to accept and be confident with her looks. In her own words, "I was a quiet loner and went through High School feeling 'unpretty' and unaccepted by my peers...". She continues with what brought about a transformation and goes on to share 10 powerful and practical tips to becoming U.G.L.Y!

It's a worthwhile and engaging read indeed (it almost feels like you can see her making her point :-), and more than ever, it is important to recognise the importance of falling in love with YOU as sadly, more people just don't know how to!

So ladies and gentlemen, it's time to Get U.G.L.Y, that's right, be Unconditionally Grateful Looking like YOU!

You can download a FREE copy of the book by clicking on the link below (See, I told you Adaeze must be a kind soul! :-)

http://www.deserveyourgreatlife.com/p/get-ugly-ebook.html

Let me know what you think when you've read it! :-) xxxx

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Adaeze Diana Obiako is a freelance writer, copy-editor, speaker, and vision coach who helps young Christian women feeling depressed/hopeless discover who they are and why they exist so that they can learn how to enjoy more fulfilling and fruitful lives. She blogs about the spiritual lessons she’s learnt at www.deserveyourgreatlife.com. You can follow Adaeze on Twitter and Google+.

The lovely Adaeze Obiako :-)

Friday, 18 July 2014

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I want to thank You for being the best friend a girl could have. Thank you for seeing me - flaws and all, yet still love me beyond my imagination.

Thank You for the peace I have in you, peace that passes human understanding. Peace that is there even when things don't look 'there'.

Thank You for the joy that I have in You - the joy that has bubbled over throughout this week and that could only be from you. No one, nothing at all could ever give this 'high'... I feel like I'm floating, like my heart would burst with joy and excitement, yet there's no physical thing I could put my finger on that is responsible for it.. Infact, I do know that no physical thing or being is responsible for this joy - it's all YOU! Thank You.

Thank You for making my life complete. For the completeness I feel in You. Thank You because nobody and nothing else could ever do it for me this way. You are IT Lord, You are absolutely IT.

Tonight, I join by family by love in Wales to lift up the name of JESUS at the Festival of Life! I know Lord JESUS that You will show up and show up BIG! I am filled with excitement!!

Oh, how could I forget the wonderful news of our addition.. I say 'our' because this baby is loved by so many already. Thank You for the Makanjuolas, thank You for baby Makanjuola - You are truly special Daddy and I could never ever say it enough - THANK YOU.

I love You, You are no 1 in my life. You are my no 1 Friend, my no 1 King, my no 1 Desire, the One that takes precedence in my heart, the One that sits firmly on the throne of my heart. You are the one that comes First always, You have top spot, top priority always.

Take all the glory!

Love You always,
One xx

PS, Would you like to be a part of The Festival of Life in Wales with Pastor E.A Adeboye? Please join the live stream here if you can't be in Wales :-) xx http://new.livestream.com/rccgonline/events/3197829 - Oh yes, thank You Lord for technology! :-)

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Convos With One: Help! My Man's BFF is a 'She'!

This is a new series on 1 + The One and I am very excited about it! It started randomly (many new things often do lol)..

I had been exploring a 'He Said / She Said' series and been thinking of the technicalities. Basically, it's obvious that men and women think DIFFERENTLY! You didn't know? What planet did you escape from?! lol..


Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! 

Well, look no further! Each week, my wonderful friends and I (have I ever told how simply amazing my friends are?! I am truly blessed!) will bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. Sometimes, we will agree, but be sure that we would also disagree! We would kick-off the discussion and we welcome your contributions and comments.

Is there anything (anything at all!) you have always wanted to ask or just simply want to discuss? Please, send me an email at oneplustheone@gmail.com! We would be happy to start-off the discussion.

You can have a look at last week's conversation where we discussed Men and Communication

Today, we discuss a dilemma from a reader, which quite frankly I have heard many people ask! I even did a post on it some time back HERE... Here goes - 

"My fiance is BFFs (best friends forever) with a girl who happens to be an ex - well, not strictly an ex but they almost dated but couldn't. He has assured me that there's nothing between them and they have been family friends for a long time so they are 'cool like that'. Of course I am not 'cool like that' about it but me getting upset ends up looking like I am the 'evil jealous girl' lol and it actually causes issues between us sometimes. Truth is I trust him but I don't trust the friendship! So here's the question *drum roll*
1) Should a guy be close/best friends with another girl even though he is in a relationship or married 
2) Should he even still be in contact with her?!"

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Mr JohnNashSo this is what I think and this is my opinion. I am actually talking from experience.

OneAlright, let's go there! lol

Mr JohnNashThere was an amazing girl I used to like, despite the fact that we did not date, we liked each other very much. This really affected the relationships I went into. The girls I have dated will testify.

1) Should a guy be close/best friends with another girl even though he is in a relationship or married?

Answer: No he shouldn't.

i. Every woman likes to feel special and feel appreciated. Every woman enjoys the thought that she is her husbands all in all and every other person or thing is secondary, even her children!!! 

OneAmen to that!! :-D


Mr JohnNashGrowing up in my house, we knew our dad loved us to bits but we also knew his wife was number 1 on his list. Lol...

The idea of a best friend in the first place will create tension. I have a very close friend. We have been friends for almost two decades. Our friendship is like blood. Every now and then his wife will tease me and call me her rival. Recently, she uploaded a picture of me on BB and added the status message: "My rival" Lol. I understand her view point so I give my friend space every now and then. Pause for a second, this is a situation where her husband's BFF is a guy. Imagine how she would feel if his BFF was a girl? Not too good I assure you!

OneLol @ "My Rival".. Ladies can pass some serious subliminal messages though haha. That's coded for, "My friend, mind yourself"

Mr JohnNashLol. Secondly, you never really stop liking the people you like. It's situations and circumstances that change - marriage, relocation, maturity. Hence making a girl you nearly dated in the past your best friend is not healthy for your marriage or marriage to be. It makes a lot of sense to withdraw and give your fiancée or wife some respect. Emotions usually linger, so it's best to stay away as much as you can.

iii. Finally the Bible says in Matthew 19:5:
"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?"

Now if the bible commands that a man should leave his father and mother who gave birth to him and nurtured him for years, I am guessing the man automatically must leave his family friends, ex girl friends or almost girl friends lol. Trust me no woman likes to share her man. 

OneThank you! I love the real-ness of your response and bringing a personal perspective to it.. Me, I disagree absolutely with female BFFs, then to make it an ex! Lai lai.. lol.. The fact that he must have had some degree of deep emotions for her is already a vulnerable point. Why play with fire? There are many men out there who make great friends #JustSaying 

Nubian PrincessI used to operate a double standard! As the only girl in my class, I had a number of male friends, particularly, two I'm really close to. The friendship lasted through various girlfriends and now one of them is married! I also used to take offence if their SO's (Significant other) objected to our friendship! There was never any romantic interest though just a very strong friendship! On the flip side, if my significant other had a female BFF, IT WILL NOT GO DOWN WELL WITH ME AT ALL!!! 


Loool... 
Seriously though, it can be a bit dangerous and as I've grown older (and hopefully wiser), I've come to realise that sometimes, there is a tendency to get comfort from your BFF especially when you're having issues with your SO. You may be tempted to share stuff with them that should really be shared with your spouse... From there... #Fire #UnnecesaryIntimacy #DownwardSpiral #EmotionalAffair?

OneLool.. I can definitely understand your point! I am very guilty of the double standards too! 
So, how about the 2nd question, should he still be in contact with her?

Mr JohnNash
Answer: Yes he can but sparingly.
A text once in a while. On her birthday, at Christmas etc.

One's School of Thought - hehehe.. iKid
The reason I think so is this. No man is an island. You need people to help you achieve destiny. Some of the greatest breakthroughs I have received in life have come from people I used to be very close to. Yes, you are married but your wife might not be the only person who will propagate you to destiny. There might be a few others. An old friend might be one of them so could an ex or almost ex lol.
Finally my grand father used to tell me something when I was young, he's late now. He would say: "Nash, never ever close a door, you might need to open it again." 

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And with those wise words, we end today's convo.. So what's your take? We would like to hear from you! Is it alright for a guy to have a female BFF even though he is in a relationship or married? Also, what would be your reaction or response to it?

Join us again next week for more Convos with One! If you would like to ask a question please send your email to oneplustheone@gmail.com xx

PS - *Milestone alert* this is the 100th Post on 1 + The One in 2014 - Thank God! 
Dedicated to SisiYemmie and Bobo who (finally!) begin the journey to marital life today!! Here's praying that you have a really blessed marriage and that your home would always be full of love and joy #YemYom14 #PermanentSite #SisiBobo #Surulere